Stress Stress and stress!!!!!
there is no one i can talk to.
The earth is moving, things changing and so do people.
Recently one uncle i know had commited sucide. Its quite shock to heard the news as few days ago i still saw him chatting with people hais. This world is so stressful. Money is so scary. People die becuase of money, r/s end due to money etc. Although i not close to him but i felt sad for him and his family members. Also, i admire him that he have the courage to do so. I alway want to have that courage but i am too timid. But his funeral hen sheng da :) this is the 1st time in my life i saw a funeral with so many people and when chu bing that day, the entire road was crowded with people and cars. My bf told me that most of it are sport car, wow!!!! and even causes traffic jam. The band playing those sad songs which even me will feel like crying. Cant imagine how his daughter is going to accept de fact that he is gone and he commited sucide hais. They carry de coffin and walk all the way from telok blangah to bukit purmei ( which i only saw till there) and the whole traffic jam all the way there too. Hais may he rest in peace. I wonder is it really die le jiu no more worries?
Hais today is mother day :) happy mother day to all mum and my bf mum too... But is a sad day for me. Is it wrong for a gal to wish that their bf will console them when they angry or sad? Is it v hard to console? why u keep changing, sooner or later i scare u will change to someone who i dun even know le. You want me understand i tried to but i said before i oso nd ur console. Give u chances, didnt i give u alot of it le ma? but did u do anything to it?
When i sad, i got no one whom i can talk to.. Not even you. ur words will keep in my mind... when i sad, when i cry, when i approach u, hope u change & console but what i got from u is " is this crying going to continue? i am sick of it alr" I bear with you that u lie to me. even wv\hen i know i cant trust what you said but i still choose to trust. But what i gt is you saying i nt understanding. I think for u etc u say me like that? Although there are parts where i nv show understanding but not all arhx. u should know today i feel sad but.... i am ill did u bother? i told u i cant go till hg neither can go hm, u care? Those 2 days u totally neglect me but what i gain is not ur console but scolding... i scare u late for school rush you faster leave hse u scold me. hais actually i should not love u so much or miss u that much now u totally take me for granted... an eye on an eye ma? Hais i seriously cant take it anymore le... wish to let go but zhuo bu dao hais... I done whatever i can le but hais... Today oso why bluff me sia!@!!!!!! didnt we promise to report whr we going reach le etc ma? why u wait till reach work place then say and even worse u lie to me. after all de lie, insist of console apologise, u scold me blame me shout at me? why u dun dare let me go ur work place find you? why lie to me that u still at vivo why???? i told you before cant bluff me anymore u promised. Why all your promises like useless de. Why am i de only one being scolded when i did nothing wrong!!!!!!!!!!! I walk and walk under de rain think and think... Who am i to you? seriously... I dun know... 0% secure... i sewriously cant feel any single love... Really hope someone will tell me what to do... Hate life i hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!
school is equally stress. Why the lecturer so cruel? our lesson started from 8 to 6
almost everyday where do we have the extra time to do our project? Assignment coming in one by one and the due date of submission is like few days later only. Where do we have the time to do??? By the time we reach home is equal to a piece of dead meat le hais. Even wkend also cant relax. Stupid yog thingy too... I seriously need a long rest sia!!!! everyday late sleep early woke up... stand in the kitchen for almost 9 hr... face oily, sweaty etc. This is the chef life. hais regret taking this course.
Sometime i hope i am crazy so i wont have worries, wont feel sad etc. I also a human!!!!!!!!!!
I made a wish
10:13 PM